i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
someone get that fucking seahorse.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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