I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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