are you so shy because you have an std?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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