I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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