I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
And then he peed in my hair
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