haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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