Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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