Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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