I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
