Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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