I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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