worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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