Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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