Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
