The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
