Grow some girl-balls and come out already
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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