Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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