She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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