Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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