he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize