Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
