I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
