remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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