are you still at the devil's house?
high people should be assigned attendants
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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