so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
