i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...