I want to have your abortion
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.