Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
