I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
