A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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