so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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