You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
