i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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