So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
