what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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