Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
