I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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