She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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