How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
