is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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