Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
