yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize