dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
