What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
