weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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