I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize