if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
