My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
