Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
