so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
