i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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