I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
