escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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