Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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