I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
