So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
