ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
