Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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