So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
