Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
