It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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