No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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