I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
