the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
