Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
being pregnant is like rehab
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
