is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
