she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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